“Contentment Is A Choice”

Though it is, I find myself always making game of this. Wanting more and more of absouletly nothing, to indugle a momentary pleasure that doesnt even last. I seek material that will eventually rust and ruin to feel comfortable for only a moment. And for some dumb reason it makes sense to me, that its worth sacrificing what matters for something to make me feel good. With no excuse to my actions I can stand how this world relies upon everything and everyone to fufill their very needs, how its always about “me” and not “them” always about “me being first” instead of “last.” It doesnt make sense to me how I do this time and time again, I fall victim in the moment and then after I realize how senseless and selfish I am. I grazed of this quote on a blog a friend showed me “hell is getting everything you want.” I could not agree any more. When I get what I want it burns my yearning for more and more until it all become a disaster and it creates problems. Tired of my selfish ways.

@1 year ago